Hello dear readers! It’s time for that fun lovin’ Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. I do this every Friday. It’s great fun and I hope you will join in!
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
If you want to read what the other great writers have posted please click on Rochelle’s name above, then scroll down till you see the little blue frog and click on him! Thanks!
Copyright-Roger Cohen
She tapped her foot to the Jazz band. A glass of booze sitting in front of her. She was dressed to kill.
Smoke rings floated above her head as she smiled. Her man was playing the old bull fiddle. He sure could play that thing. Just like he played her every night.
They been together for years. Traveling the back roads, looking for gigs. The white picket fence life wasn’t for them. Too many places they hadn’t been yet. Them and that bull fiddle.
Great story, Jackie. I like the “how she played her every night.” Although, I imagine this could be interpreted in more than one way. Nice!
thank you Amy!
I can just smell the cigarette smoke mixed with gin and a little basement stuffiness. Poetic! Great!
thank you!
Nice.
thanks!
I’ve read a few Friday Fictioneers now, and these little flash fiction stories are really cool – and really good. I like the couple in your story. You’ve painted a nice life for them – and I had no idea it was called a bull fiddle.
thanks Maddie! It’s just one of many names for it. Depends on how and what genre it’s played.
Just like he played her every night. awesome ^^
thanks kz!
Very nice Jackie…
thank you boomie!
Hi Jackie,
On the road again, just can’t wait . . . oh wait, that’s Willie, not jazzy. Good story celebrating the minstrel lifestyle! Ron
Hi Ron. haha! Good ole willie. Thanks for reading!
i think i like this free spirited couple…good scene you shared today.
thank you Sunshine, glad you enjoyed it
Oooooh. You always create the most interesting characters…
Thanks girl! hows things going?
Very well! just really tired as i adjust to work.
you’re like a ghost around here! Will be glad when you come back. miss you! hugs
I’m sorry
I wrote twice this past week…that’s…something. I do have plans to write more. I’m just so tired after work atm that I come home and fall asleep shortly thereafter.
Waking up early is not my thing, especially this time of year. I need to go tanning again.
hey no need to apologize girl! It’s something you have to get used to. Believe me I don’t like to get up early either. But the tanning might help. You need to do it regular. I know, I’m being a mother hen. lol….
I love mother hens. My mother wasn’t much of a mother, so I lap it up like a starving kitten does milk.
Yeah. I ‘m going to buy a tanning package with the first paycheck (Tuesday!) and make it a once or twice a week thing.
Heck, lol, at this rate, I’m gonna need two paychecks. I keep saying “with my first paycheck, I’m gonna buy X”. I think I’ll need to make a priority list, or be very happily surprised at the size of my paycheck.
ummm I think you better stick with the priority list. lol and put the tanning thing up towards the top!
definitely. lol. The hubs is about to pay for it if I don’t.
life is for the living!
so true! unless you believe in ghosts
JACKIEPPPPP!
I get the feeling he is not the only one who knows how to handle a bull fiddle..wink wink! All kidding aside I liked these two. Like Kent said you could feel the stuffiness of the room. I would hang with them any day. really fine work.
Tom
thank you Tom. I liked these two also. They seemed like a fun couple. You know how musicians are….and their women. ha! Glad you liked it.
Nicely atmospheric piece – well done.
Thank you Sandra
What great character building, and use of language to make us hear her voice. Loved it.
Thank you Anne! Glad you enjoyed it.
Very evocative – transports me right there with the characters. Just one possible tiny typo, though – ‘They been together for years’ – did you mean ‘They’d been…’?
Lovely story
It could have been they’d, but I was talking more in her voice then in mine. I think she would have said they been. Does that make sense? In my mind it does but maybe once out there it doesn’t.
There’s nothing better than the lure of the open road and a bit of music to pay the rent and keep you company
That’s so right! Especially in the era I was trying for. Thank you Linda!
You’re welcome Jackie
Atmospheric and earthy. Has kind of a 1940′s or 50′s country feel. Nice.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Yea! That was the time I was trying for! Nice to know it came out. Thank you Rochelle.
Seemingly a true story about a vagabond musician.
Could be Frank. Back in that era there were a few of them. Thanks for reading my little story.
I can almost hear the pluck of the bass as he plays. Nicely done.
Thank you! Coming from you that’s high praise for me
Oh Jackie honey, I’m just a woman that has a lot to say.
Your story was really good. I wished I was that woman sitting in a gin joint watching her man pluck the bass. Not only because he’s good at it. But because of what else he’s good at. Playing her. Giggle.
Well you might have a lot to say, but you do say it so well. So it’s all right. Yeah, I felt that too when I wrote it. haha.
Thank you my dear. As do you. Take care.
I like the image of the “white picket fence life”
I like this a lot! “he played her every night” and the “white picket fence” really nice
thank you Miss!
You drag me into that joint, and I’m sure thy played wonderful music.
Thank you so much!
Very nice–you really captured your lady and her love for her man and their vagabond life.
thank you vb!
this was sweet, I was right there with them. nice.
thank you so much!
I can only agree with the rest of the responses you’ve received…a wonderfully composed little story which captures the essence of what the couple are about
Them and that bull fiddle…was a perfect ending!
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, that bull fiddle gets around
Jackie,
Your story was more than a quick look into the lives of two characters. You obviously hit on a chord that resonates with most of us. Call it freedom, wanderlust, or living in the moment. You story makes me want to sell everything and hit the road, although I’d starve pretty quickly since I can’t play a lick. haha.
Thanks for sharing this story with us.
oh I’d starve too as I can’t play nor sing. haha! But I admire people who can play. Thanks for reading!
Dear jackie,
You breathed life into that story like he breathes life into the bull fiddle. Your portrayal of these three characters was wonderful and rhythmic. Very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug,
Thank you so much for reading and liking my little story. I really appreciate it.
Jackie
ahh love, true love. Love it.
thank you!
This story is full of life! I like it!
Thank you Abraham!
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questions
“She was dressed to kill.” i know it’s only 100 words, but maybe we could know more of what she’s wearing. mini dress? tight skirt? little black dress? something more than “dressed to kill,” unless that’s literal and i missed it.
“Just like he played her every night.” this made me think he was lying to her, cheating, something like that. that expression could mean that too. wasn’t sure.
either way, well done. loved the life captured in there.
also, Jazz doesn’t need capitalization.
answers
I suppose I could have gone on and described what she wore. But I do only have 100 words to play with. She was in a club enjoying the music, so it was taken for granted she was dressed in a little black dress, with silk stockings and heels. Also full on makeup with bright red lipstick.
Since she was talking about her man playing the bull fiddle, again it was taken for granted on the writers side that the sentence afterwards, “Just like he played her every night”, would be taken that he plays the bull fiddle so well and also her body.
Thank you for reading and commenting rich. Maybe I put too much credit toward the readers ability to use their imagination?
Opps on the jazz part. Now that one was a mistake.
thanks very much for those images. now i need to have some “alone time.”
you are welcome. Any more questions please let me know. Enjoy your “alone time.”
“She was in a club enjoying the music, so it was taken for granted she was dressed in a little black dress, with silk stockings and heels. Also full on makeup with bright red lipstick.”
This is hilarious!
I understood both parts as you have described the first time.
I’m sure you did Abraham, maybe I should have had you explain it to Rich.