Another Friday is here and so another Friday Fictioneers! It’s a fun challenge and well worth trying. It’s great practice to your writing. Give it a try! Go ahead. Click on the link and see what you can do! The people are great and helpful. No need for fear. It’s fun!
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
Copyright-Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Ethel watched her son draw with his Crayolas. He looked just like his grandfather, a bit stern.
She picked up the ringing phone and heard the faint voice of her mother on the other end. She needed to come home. Father was dying. The war made it hard so she hadn’t been home since her marriage. She had gas rations saved up, thank goodness. She packed, bundled her son into the old Ford and hoped she got home in time.
She loved him. She felt the tears fill her eyes. She glanced back at her sleeping son. He looked just like his grandfather.
JACKIE PPPPPPP!
I love the old school name Ethel for this piece. The name fits the time period. A sweet and sad story all wrapped into one. Good work! I could see them in the car driving down the road and the mother looking back at her son.
Tom
TOM!!!
thanks for reading! I was hoping the name fit the piece. It was a hard one for me this week for some reason. Glad you liked it.
Jackie
From my heart….. JACKIE PPPPPP. I love your name as well name I can’t help but scream it out.
hmmm I love it when a man screams my name
scream away!
i meant to say….From my heart….. JACKIE PPPPPP. I love your name as well, I can’t help but scream it out.
I knew what you meant. TOM PPP!!!! haha,
JACKIEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!
TOMMMPPPPPPP!
ummm am i interrupting something?.. all that screaming.. lol ^^ great story, jackie ^^ very sad and i could feel how fond she is of her dad..
just having a bit of fun
Thank you kz. I’m glad you could feel the emotion.
HI Jackie
Loved this little slice of life, and the subtle little things like ‘the old Ford’ added something special to the story. Great writing.
thank you! There were a lot of writers for this one this week. I am working my way to yours!
Awww… Well done. Felt this one
thank you boomie!
your ending was fabulous.
Thank you! love your name, train-whistle, reminds me of the old days when riding the rails was cool.
thank you Jackie. Trains run through our mountain several times a day. Don’t know what I’d do without their sounds, so soothing.
thank you Jackie. Trains run through our mountain several times a day. Don’t know what I’d do without their sounds, so soothing.
i love how you mixed the emotions and drew us first to a family memory from long ago, to sadness then wrapped us in a mother’s love for her child. <3 glad i'm bundled up in my snuggie blanket–goes perfect while reading your story.
Thank you sunshine for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed the story.
Hope you stay warm and comfy.
Good job, Jackie! Very moving story.
janet
thank you Janet! I appreciate it.
Nicely done, very sad.
Thank you. It was a sad period of time.
Dear Jackie,
( I won’t scream your name)
I’ll echo others in saying your story was moving. Also the subtle mention of her gas rationing card put me right there in the 1940′s. Well done.
shalom,
Rochelle
Rochelle. Thank you so much. Coming from you that makes my day. I’m getting better at this I think. Have a wonderful weekend.
Awwwww…so sweet.
Thank you!
You took me back to another era, Jackie. I liked your story very much.
Thank you Ted. I’m glad I could take you back.
An emotional story, Jackie P! I could feel the sadness; clever mentioning of the photograph and her father dying.
Thank you Amy. Appreciate you reading as always.
Hi Jackie,
Liked the way you used period details to recreate the war era. Ron
Thank you Ron! Glad you enjoyed it.
Again, you are so good at telling a much broader story in so few words. This was really good, Jackie. Love that the little boy is so much like his grandfather.
Hey Maddie. Thank you much. I think I’m getting better at this.
Very effective story; crayolas and a good cry, Thank you, Jackie.
Thank you Perry.
very thoughtful and well done.
Thank you rich! Appreciate you reading.
The family resemblance between the young and the old is such a nice touch–always amazing when you see your older relatives live on in the physical and mental attributes of a younger generation. Nice story, Jackie.
thank you so much VB, I appreciate you reading and liking.
Well done, I like the gas rationing piece, and the connection over generations.
thank you so much Bjorn.